snapchatting2:

Me: Why are we at Olive Garden? This place is not even that good.

Date: Sorry, what was that? I can’t hear anything. There are too many large numbered families having Sunday dinner here tonight.

Me: What? I can’t hear you. The waiters here are naming all the soups of the day too loudly. They’ve been naming them for ten minutes. There can’t possibly be that many types of soup.

Date: What? Could you speak a little louder? There’s a ringing in my ears.

Waiter: Hello! Sorry for the wait, Sunday nights are always the busiest. How can I start you off tonight?

Date: What? What was that? What? I still can’t hear anything over the sound of familial laughter. Are you guys sweating too? It’s so hot.

Me: [Starts applying expensive chap stick silently]

Waiter: Would you like to hear the soups of the day?

New Yorker seated in the booth behind us: [Peeks over the half wall and casually shouts] No, but I can give you directions to a real Italian restaurant!

Me: [Looks into the camera like in The Office]

Waiter: [Looks into the camera like in The Office]

Family party of 17 seated next to us: [Looks into the camera like in The Office]

Date: [Screams in terror because he suddenly realizes he was the one who died in the car accident last night - not his sister, and now he is in hell for eternity as punishment for the sins he committed in his short, mortal life]

(via heterokatedison)

the-nightwing-rises:

daynapapaya:

why does this post have so many notes

why are people actually fucking surprised about this content being in a disney animated movie

I mean seriously

have people even been paying attention

murder is not a new concept in disney animation

in fact it’s pretty much the standard

it’s in literally every movie

even on-screen deaths

like are we really choosing to ignore a good chunk of animation history

just so we can give half-hearted accolades to a movie that didn’t do anything particularly special

I can’t even with this post

disney villains have always been murderous shitheads

Hans is nothing special he does nothing new

hell he didn’t even die even though most murderous villains end up that way

and in some pretty gruesome ways

so yeah anyway I don’t get that post I don’t get why it has so many notes and I don’t get why people willingly ignore disney’s long history of depicting violence in favor of painting Frozen as some kind of amazing outside-the-box story

Frozen, stop thinking your SOOOOO special

(via knight-of-tyme)

Television is going to go so crazy uphill in the next couple decades, you can see it in the fanfiction. 

just-shower-thoughts:

I want to live in a world where it’s possible to listen to YouTube AND lock my phone

umm that world is now

(via spideypools)

(via heterokatedison)